Someone stole all my credit cards but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, What part is it?” The boy says, “I play the part of the Jewish husband.” “The mother scowls and says, “Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.”
What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she’s making love?
“Honey, I’m home!”
