Sarcastic remarks for work laughter spot : “I’m trying to imagine you with a personality”

• And your crybaby whinny opinion would be…?
• This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
• I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
• Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cats.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

A PBS mind in an MTV world.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

A woman’s favorite position is CEO.

I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

Can I trade this job for what’s behind door number 1?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.

I plead contemporary insanity.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

Meandering to a different drummer.

I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

photo credit: texas gurl via photopin cc