Laughter Spot : One-Liners from Richard Goard

One-Liners

Q. In what room of the house would you never find a ghost?
A. The living room.

Q. What do Skeletons say before eating?
A. Bone Appetite.

Many thanks to Richard Goard for this

Q. Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
A. To improve his bite!

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a dwarf?
A. A monster that sucks blood out of kneecaps!!!

Q. What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common?
A. Both have blank expressions and are hollow inside.

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A. Frostbite…

Q. How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
A. With scare spray…

Q. Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A. No, they eat the fingers separately…

Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A. Dayscare Centers.

Q. What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
A. Casketball…

Q. What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?
A. Shrinkenstein…

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. “Do you believe in people?”

Q.Why did the Vampire get fired from the Blood Bank?
A. He was caught drinking on the job.

Q. What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom?
A. She flies off the handle.

Q. Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?
A. Women can see right through them.

Q. Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
A. They’re so wrapped up in themselves…

Q. What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
A. Dead ends…

Q. What is a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
A. A blood vessel…

Q.Why aren’t there any famous skeletons?
A. They’re a bunch of no bodies.

Q. What kind of music do Mummies listen to?
A. Wrap

Q. Do witches stay home on weekends?
A. No. They go away for a spell.

Q. What do you call a guy turned on by a witch?
A. Scared stiff.

Q: What is Dracula’s favorite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving! =

Q: Why do ghosts write in Latin?
A: It’s a dead language.

photo credit: toddwshaffer via photopin cc