Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? A: “Olive or twist?”
Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar? A: “Please, no stories!”
Q. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey? A. So the Irish would never rule the world!
Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka? A: The Holy Spirit!
Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order? A: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
Q: You know what’s fun about being sober? A: Nothing.
Q: Why did Mexicans create tequila? A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird
Take me drunk I’m home.
Anyone who says that alcohol is a depressant isn’t drinking enough of it.
When life hands you lemons, find someone with tequila and salt!
Dont drink and drive, it will spill everywhere
It’s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
Alcohol is never the answer… But it does make you forget the question.
A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.