Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, arrives at Passport Control at Athens airport.
“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.
“German”, she replies.
“Occupation?”
“No, not this time I am just here for a meeting.”
Wife says to husband “You only ever want sex when you’re drunk” Husband says “that’s not true……. sometimes I want a curry.”
Sky news report. The Irish have joined in the attack on I S.
They have sent 3 ships – 2 full of sand and one full of cement……for a mortar attack.
A Geordie and an American aid worker are helping out in Africa.
Yank says, “You from round here, buddy?”
“No,” he replies, ” Newcastle ”
“What State’s that in?” asks the Yank.
“Pretty much the same as this place!”
The Japanese government have thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent out.
They said they were delicious!
My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.
It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles, that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out !!
Two female teachers took a group of children from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to the local racecourse.
It was not long before some of the children needed the toilet.
The teachers agreed that one would go with the little girls and the other with the little boys.
The one looking after the boys was waiting outside the men’s toilet when one of the boys came back out and told her that none of them could reach up to the urinal.
What to do? Having seemingly no choice, she went inside and hoisted the boys up one by one. She carefully held their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes and then gave them a little shake to dry them.
As she lifted one boy up, she couldn’t help but notice that his little willy was – well, a big willy!
He was unusually well-endowed.
Trying not to show that she was staring at it, the teacher said, ‘You must be in Grade 3?
‘No ma’am’, he replied. ‘I’m riding Black Caviar in the 3.30, but I really appreciated your help.’
photo credit: kevin dooley via photopin cc