The man who invented predictive texting has just died… His Funfair will be Hello next Sundial at 2 pm.
The late, great comedian Dave Allen remembers his introduction to religion (a hilarious 5 min video)
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, “Jesus knows you’re here.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, turned his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he was putting a laptop into his bag, he heard “Jesus is watching you.”
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
“Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.
“Yes”, the parrot confessed, who then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you that he’s watching you.”
The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who are you to warn me?”
“Moses,” replied the bird.
“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”
“The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.”
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