1. Very, very fat man. Very funny.
He had a joke: The other day I got out of the car and this little boy was walking by. He just stopped and he stared at me and he was like, “Whoa.” Then I was like, “Boy, whatchu lookin’ at?” Little boy was like, “I can’t even fit all of you in my eyes.”
2. There’s an old Jewish man walking on the beach and he comes across a magic lantern.
He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie says to the old Jewish man, “I will grant you anything you want.”
The old Jewish man pulls out a map of the Middle East and shows it to the genie and says, “I would like peace in the Middle East between Israelis and the Palestinians.” The genie looks at the map and says, “I cannot do that. Anything else?”
And so the Jewish man says, “I would like my wife to blow me one more time.” The genie says, “Let me see that map again.
3. Describing the way flight attendants look at you when they’re closing the curtain to first class:
“Well, maybe if you worked a little harder, I wouldn’t have to do this.
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