1. My husband was unhappy with my mood swings, so he bought me a mood ring.
He thought that this would allow him to monitor my moods.
We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green, and when I’m in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.
2. While he was speaking at a public event, a woman kept heckling the former British Prime Minister Harold Wilson. Wilson turned to the woman and said,
“I can only give you the facts madam. I cannot give you the brain with which to understand them”.
