What goes ‘Oh, Oh, Oh’? Santa walking backwards
Why are Christmas trees bad knitters? They keep losing their needles
Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
Many thanks to Richard Goard, Englefield Green, Surrey for these Christmas gems ..
What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose
Got a Christmas card full of rice today, I think it was from my Uncle Ben.
Two snowmen were standing in a field. One said, “Can you smell carrots?”
What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve”
What does Santa do with fat elves? He sends them to an Elf Farm
What’s a dog’s favourite carol? Bark, the herald angels sing
What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner? Twerky
What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes
What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack
What do you give a dog for Christmas? A mobile bone
What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Father Christmas in a revolving door
What is Santa’s favourite pizza? One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with
What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days
How do snowmen get around? By riding an ‘icicle
How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy
What is the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you can’t beat it!
Why did Santa have to go to the hospital? Because of his poor elf
What do you call a blind reindeer? No-eye deer