My mate Paddy told me he robbed a shop last night.
“What did you get?” I asked.
“26 pictures,” he smiled, showing me. “The cheapest one is worth over £180,000.”
I said, “Paddy, these are from an estate agents.”
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A man walked into a bookshop and said:
I’d like to buy a book by Shakespeare’.
‘Yes sir’ replied the sales assistant, ‘which one?’
‘ William, of course’ said the man.
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Selling my pet python on EBay.
Someone asked if it was big, and I told them it was massive.
Then they asked “how many feet?”, and I said “none – it’s a snake!
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started……
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