Night after night, a keen ornithologist stood in his backyard hooting like an owl. After weeks of getting no reply, he suddenly heard an owl hoot back at him.
He was overjoyed at the response and for the next nine months man and bird kept up a regular dialogue of hooting. He was fascinated by his ability to relate to a wild creature and kept a detailed record of all their conversations.
Just when he was about to take his findings to the Natural History Society, his wife happened to be talking to a neighbour who lived four doors away.
“My husband spends his night calling to owls,” she confided.
“That’s funny,” said the neighbour. “So does mine!”
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Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The Italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says
“Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!”
The Chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says “Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!”
The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says” Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time I’m going to jump off this building and fall to my death!”
So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death.
That weekend at the funeral, the Italian and the Chinese wives are crying and saying “I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me.”
And as the two wives stare at the blonde wife, they both ask why she isn’t sad about her husbands death, the blonde replies “Don’t look at me, he packs his own lunch.”