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‘Laughter Spot’ : Staying in a hotel and the afterlife

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‘Laughter Spot’

I was staying in a hotel last night.
Before I went to bed, I phoned down to reception.

“Hi, this is room 317. Can I have a wake-up call, please?”

The receptionist replied, “Yes. You’re fat, in your 40′s and given you’re staying in such a cheap hotel probably haven’t achieved much in your life.”

 ………………………..

‘Laughter Spot’

Boss: Do you believe in the afterlife?

Employee: No I don’t, because there’s no proof.

Boss: So if I could prove to you that there is life after death, would you believe in the afterlife?

Employee: If you could prove it 100%, then I would believe in life after death.

Boss: OK. Here’s the proof. After you left early yesterday to go to your Uncle’s funeral, he came here looking for you to go and play golf.

…………………………….

Bonus Time …  Two more …

I reckon Peter Pan is behind the Gatwick debacle. He’s making sure the planes are going to never land.

…………………………………..

My car broke down in Scotland

A bloke stopped and started looking under my bonnet

I asked “Are you a Mechanic?”

“No” he replied “I’m a McTavish”

“I meant What do you do for a living?” I asked

“I’m a podiatrist” he replied

“Great” I said, “Can you give me a toe?”

………………………………….

One more bonus …

Every Christmas I’d come running downstairs to the big pile of presents and start unwrapping them as fast as I could.

Sometimes there would be fights over who had the best toys but we would all make up later and sit down to have a three hour lunch before watching TV for the rest of the day.

I really miss working at the Royal Mail sorting office.