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“Scotland is the host nation for the Commonwealth games this year. But you wouldn’t know on the BBC. Union Flags, Gary Lineker – bizarre”

We give you the misses from the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony via the Guardian

• In its echo of the reference to Brookside’s lesbian kiss in the London 2012 ceremony, the Barrowman kiss made us seem a rather prurient nation

• On the eve of Scotland‘s referendum on independence, the ceremony resorted to clichés of the Loch Ness monster, Irn Bru and a sea of tartan instead of telling viewers something new

• The overhead shots made it look like a good few ticket-holders had decided to plump for a quiet night in front of the telly instead

• The lyrics to Barrowman’s song: “We’ve bagpipes and there’s castles, there’s monsters in our lochs” and “Now on to the Highlands, or even the Lowlands, the mountains and glens stretch before ye, the mountains and glens stretch before ye, the mist swirls behind ye…” Enough

• As one viewer from Dundee commented: “It felt like a 1960s Albanian entry to the Eurovision song contest. I don’t think I’ve cringed so much in my whole life.”

And then there are the Lineker landmines …