Here are some of our favourite Christmas cracker jokes
1. How do you get rid of a boomerang? Throw it down a one way street
2. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
3. What is Santa’s favourite pizza A. One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.
4. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost.
5. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?
Get out of my face.
6. Why did the man sleep under the car?
So he could wake up oily in the morning.
7. What has four legs but can’t walk?
A table!
8. What do you get if you cross a pig and a centipede?
Bacon and legs
9.What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
The One Show.
10.What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam
11. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered.
12. Why should you never invite a team of footballers for Christmas?
Because they are always dribbling
13.What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
14.What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas Eve
15. What must you know to be an auctioneer?
Lots
16.What’s round and bad tempered?
A vicious circle
17. On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
The outside.
18. What’s white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
19. What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?
A barberqueue