My wife and I were at my high school reunion. As I looked around, I noticed the other men in their expensive suits…and their bulging stomachs.
Proud of the fact that I weighed just five pounds more than I did when I was in high school–the result of trying to beat a living out of a rocky hillside farm–I said to my wife, “I’m the only guy here who can still wear the suit he wore when he graduated.”She glanced at the prosperous crowd, then back at me, and said, “You’re the only one who has to.”
Problem to solve
The father was very proud when his son went off to university. He came to tour the school on Parents’ Day and observed his son hard at work in the chemistry lab. “What are you working on?” he asked.
“A universal solvent,” explained the son, ” a solvent that’ll dissolve anything.”
The father whistled, clearly impressed, then wondered aloud, “What’ll you keep it in?”
Hey, CIA
A college graduate applied for a job at the Central Intelligence Agency. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor.
As soon as the young man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the packet. Inside, a message read: “You’re our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor.”
Dream on
The school of agriculture’s dean of admissions was inter- viewing a prospective student, “Why have you chosen this career?” he asked.
“I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father,” the student replied.
“Your father made a million dollars in farming?” echoed the dean, much impressed.
“No,” replied the applicant. “But he always dreamed of it.”
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