Women for Women Laughter Spot : Have you heard the one about the blonde man?

A blonde man is in the  bathroom and his wife shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?”
He answers,  “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just  wet mine.”
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A blonde man goes to the  vet with his goldfish.
“I think it’s got epilepsy,” he tells the  vet.
The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to  me.”
The blonde man says, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl  yet.”
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A blonde man spies a  letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND   “.
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it  up.
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A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions  are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.
“No!” he shouts, “this is her husband!”
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A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a  tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he  tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, “That’s your air freshener swinging about!”
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A blonde man’s dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says “Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?”
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
“What did you put in the paper?” his wife asks.
“Here  boy!” he replies.
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A blonde  man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.
“Hanging myself,” the  blonde replies.
“The rope should be around your neck” says the  guard.
“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t  breathe.”
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(This one actually  makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: “Why do scuba  divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the blonde man  replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the  boat.”
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A friend told the  blonde man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.”
The blonde man then  said, “Let’s hope it’s not the  13th.”
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Two blonde men find  three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One  asked: “What if one explodes before we get there?”
The other says:  “We’ll lie and say we only found  two.”
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A woman phoned her  blonde neighbour man and said: “Close your curtains the next time you  & your wife are having sex.The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.”To which the blonde man replied: “Well  the joke’s on all of you because I wasn’t even at home  yesterday.