The First Affair A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: ‘There’s no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?’
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: ‘No, not this time!’
The 2nd Affair … A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
‘I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,’ the mortician said, ‘I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.’
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. ‘I have something to show you that you won’t believe,’ he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
‘My God!’ the wife exclaimed, ‘Schwartz is dead!’