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Spike Milligan Laughter Spot : “After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse”

  • After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
  • I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
  • I don’t mind dying. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

 

  • Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
  • All men are cremated equal
  • Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one
  • Spike: there’s only one cure for seasickness Somebody: what’s that? Spike: climb a tree

Goon Show

Bloodnok: I’ll turn a deaf ear. Seagoon: I didn’t know you had a deaf ear.

Bloodnok: Yes, I found it on the floor of a barber’s shop.

Seagoon: We’ve come to disconnect your phone. The Red Bladder: I haven’t got one.Seagoon: Don’t worry, We’ve brought one with us.

Seagoon: Any cases of frozen feet? Eccles: You didn’t order any cases of frozen feet!

Seagoon: For an hour we ran in French, which I ran fluently.

Eccles: ‘Quick, hide behind this pane of glass!’ Seagoon: ‘But you can see through it!’ Eccles: ‘Not if you close your eyes!’ Seagoon: ‘You’re right!’

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/spikemilliganjokes.html